Then don't listen to me. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing, and the whole process just seems like mental masturbation to me. I mean, what, am I to believe that I have some secret knowledge about religion or politics that if they would just implement this, or they would just get rid of that, that I could solve something, for the reader or for the impoverished people in need of my somehow stellar advice? Or that my experiences on this Earth may somehow give respite to the weary sojourner scouring the internet for some answer on this or that thing that he's not sure how to ask? However, since a little bit of hypocrisy is every man's portion, here I am, quietly making my deposit to the “blogosphere.”
To illustrate my point, I'd like to say that there's a reason why Jackie Robinson of Brooklyn Dodgers fame may have memoirs or biographies written about him, yet Jackie Robinson who works at the Target in Sandusky, Ohio does not. We all know that the first Robinson mentioned overcame tremendous amounts of hate and adversity just to achieve a simple human right, and that's what people are interested in. Most of us have never experienced anything like that. The latter Robinson however, my fictional Robinson, he doesn't play baseball, and nobody hates him just because he won't go away. No, he quietly achieved his Associates degree in business management at a nearby Tech school; he sometimes has a few beers with some old high school friends, and he's never faced more adversity than the time he tried and failed to eat the 74 oz. steak at a restaurant two towns over. My point being, I'm closer to the latter Robinson than the former.
Another reason it seems like mental masturbation to me is the fact that if I wanted to talk about the things I've learned, or what I think, or how I feel, I would turn to a friend or some form of conversation partner. But when those partners are busy living productive lives or carrying on healthy adult relationships, the blogger (myself included) types quietly in the dark to some fantasy reader hoping to give this mystery person some sort of gratification, while actually getting most of it himself. Perhaps I fantasize about you (the reader) and my blog together on the beach, and you can't put it down. Or maybe I think about you and my blog in some dingy motel bedroom; the wrongness of it making it all the more gratifying. Or perhaps you and my blog are nuzzled together by the fireplace, keeping each other warm. But regardless of our motives, here it is, my quiet, and hypocritical entry into the world of blogging.
two things to say here: The first is to quote Robert Anton Wilson in his essay "Making It As A Writer" He says, "Most of the characteristics which make for success in writing are precisely those which we are all taught to repress... I refer to such qualities as vanity, pride, even conceit; raw egotism and grandiosity; to the firm belief that you are an important person, that you are a lot smarter than most people, and that your ideas are so damned important that everybody should listen to you."
ReplyDeleteIt's not me saying this it's Wilson, but I think he is right.
Second thing is this: archeologists are bored by the rich and famous. They are dying to know about the common man, how the common person lived, so, give them something to talk about.
The phrase "mental masturbation" has now been added to my personal lexicon, just so you know. Brilliant and inappropriate - two of my favorite things. On a more serious note, none of us are experts on these things, but we all have our stories to tell. It'll be fun.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, the term “mental masturbation” is fantastic! I have to admit I was a little confused what the post was about in the beginning but you tied it together in the end. I people do want to know other people’s stories no matter how boring. Look at Harvey Pekar and “American Splendor” nothing but ordinary but people still read it.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna jump on the bandwagon and have to go with mental masturbation is an awesome term. I think the collective narrative of the class will definitely make this more interesting as long as we don't end up spewing our feelings (I think the collective consciousness of the class agrees).
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this is the end where I pictured a person curled up with your blog by the fireplace, or stroking it in a dingy hotel room, or tanning with it at the beach. It put very odd images in my head, but it also made me laugh.
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